Unspoken Acts of Kindness: How to Support a Bereaved Parent from Afar and Nearby

The loss of a child is indescribably painful. It can leave parents feeling lost and alone. For friends and family, it can be tough to know how to help. Whether you live close or far away, your kindness can have a huge impact. In this article, we will share practical ways you can support bereaved parents during their tough times.

The Importance of Presence

One of the most comforting things you can offer a bereaved parent is your presence. This doesn’t always mean being there in person; a quick message or phone call can show you care. For example, sending a text or video message that says, “I’m thinking of you” can make their day a little brighter.

Make it a habit to check in with them regularly. Be mindful that they may not always respond – that’s okay. Simply letting them know you are there for them can matter more than you think.

Practical Support from Afar

If distance separates you from a grieving parent, there are still impactful ways to show your support.

Send Care Packages

A thoughtful care package can be a great way to express your love. Fill it with items that promote comfort, such as cozy blankets, healthy snacks, or self-care items like scented candles. For instance, consider including a handwritten note with encouraging words.

A study by the Journal of Loss and Trauma found that small acts of kindness can significantly alleviate feelings of isolation, making your package even more meaningful.

Handwritten Letters

In a world dominated by texts and emails, a handwritten letter stands out. Take the time to express your thoughts, share memories, or simply offer support. A heartfelt note can be a treasured keepsake, reminding bereaved parents that they are not alone. You might share a memory of their child or recount a favorite moment that speaks to their character.

Virtual Check-ins

If visiting isn’t an option, set up regular video calls to maintain a connection. This allows you to share laughter, tears, and reassurance, even from miles away. Some survivors of child loss find solace in talking about their experiences; offer them the space to discuss their feelings at their preferred pace. Being a safe person who listens without judgment and validates even the most frightening and uncomfortable feelings is the most powerful gift you can offer a grieving person.

Practical Support for Nearby Friends and Family

If you live close to a bereaved parent, your physical presence can provide unique opportunities for support.

Meal Delivery

Meal preparation can feel overwhelming for a grieving parent. Organizing a meal train is a helpful way to ensure they have nutritious food. For example, you could coordinate a calendar with friends to deliver meals for weeks at a time. Delivering homemade casseroles or inviting local restaurants to donate meals helps lift some of the burdens during this difficult period. Pop over with some pre-washed and cut up fruit and vegetables and easy-to-grab snacks.

Help with Household Tasks

Grieving parents might struggle with daily chores. Offering to take care of cleaning, grocery shopping, or looking after other children can ease their load. Instead of saying, "Let me know if you need anything," offer a specific action like, “I can take your kids to the park on Saturday.” This takes the guesswork and decision fatigue out of accepting help.

Provide a Listening Ear

Sometimes, just being there to listen can be the best support. Let them express their feelings without interruptions. Whether they want to talk about their loss or share joyful memories, your willingness to listen (and not offer advice, anectdotes, or judgment), can be incredibly healing.

Thoughtful Gestures

Small acts of kindness can show your care, regardless of your location.

Send Flowers or Plants

Sending flowers or a potted plant can uplift a bereaved parent's spirits. Choose simple blooms or hardy greens that last longer. Accompany your gift with a personal note expressing your condolences. According to research, flowers have been shown to improve mood and provide comfort in times of grief. If allergies are a consideration, a simple bamboo or succulent plant is a great option.

Memory Books or Keepsakes

Consider creating a memory book. Collect notes, photos, and memories from friends and family who cherish the child. This can help the bereaved parents feel surrounded by community support and reflect on the love their child brought into many lives.

Encourage Professional Help

While friends and family offer crucial support, it is also important to promote professional help when necessary. Therapy or support groups can be beneficial spaces for bereaved parents to process their grief. Research shows that connecting with others who share similar experiences can lessen feelings of loneliness and sadness. Be careful not to push too hard if you meet resistance. These support options work well for some and not for others, and many people need time to process on their own before being ready for professional therapy or peer support.

Follow Up

Grief is a long journey. After the initial wave of support, continue to check in on your loved one. Frequent follow-ups weeks, months, and even years later remind them that your support is ongoing. Let them know they aren’t forgotten and that their feelings matter, that their child is not forgotten and that you honor their memory.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a bereaved parent requires sensitivity and understanding. No matter how far away you are, your acts of kindness can bring comfort during a deeply painful time. Remember, whether through physical or emotional support, your care is significant and can help a bereaved parent feel less isolated.

Let us embrace the importance of kindness and support as we navigate this challenging journey with those experiencing profound grief. Every act, no matter how small, contributes to their healing process.